Understanding
by Selphie Leonhart
Summary: Cloud discovers a side of Tifa he would have preferred stayed hidden...


Understanding 

Understanding 

Tifa....you all know what she really is....I mean, come on, am I the only one who noticed the pole in her bar? 

Cloud felt like a child. Confronted with Tifa's defiant, but scared eyes, he wanted to run, to tear away this horrible sinking feeling he now felt. He couldn't believe it. But...he had seen her with his own eyes....how could she? 

Tifa narrowed her eyes at him. She was desperately denying what he was accusing her of, but she knew it would be of no use. He would never understand why. Here, in the slums, it was a way of life. He couldn't see that. In his eyes it was repulsive. To her...it was almost a neccessity. 

Barret stood in the corner of the now empty bar, watching as Cloud and Tifa stared at each other. The tesion in the air was so thick even he could pick up on it. He thought back to the brawl, which had ended with Cloud almost killing another man as they fought. 

It had been a fairly quiet night. A couple of shinra employee's sat in the corner, drowning their sorrows with the beer Tifa served them. The bar was almost exclusively for men, the only females there an unfamiliar Turk with her colleagues, Yuffie, and Tifa herself. Cloud had been leaning on the bar, talking quietly with Yuffie and occasionly with Tifa when ever she had time. Then a drunken man had begun to annoy Cloud. 

He had sat at the bar like any other, ordered a drink from Tifa. When she had served it to him, Cloud had caught the sudden exchange between them, the glint in her chocolate coloured eyes as she passed him a drink. The man had returned the look, gazing at her over his drink. From then on, Tifa's whole attitude changed. She didn't look at Cloud, or come over to him in between serving. She seemed to stiffen, walking differently and her face took on a hard look. Cloud wondered what was going on. 

The man had spoken to Tifa quietly, and she stopped what she had been doing to listen, smiling slightly, in a way Cloud had never seen her smile before. Cloud stopped listening to Yuffie in order to hear what was being said. It looked strange, the smile on Tifa's face as the man spoke to her. His voice was calm, despite the obvious fact he had drunk too much. He was leaning over close to Tifa, so only she could hear what was being said. Suddenly, he reached up and grabbed her neck, pulling her towards him as she let out a cry. 

Cloud dashed over immediatly, wrenching the man off the bar stool and throwing him across the room effortlessly. He turned to Tifa, who looked white, and was gazing at the man who stumbled to his feet. 

"Don't...don't ever touch her like that..." said Cloud, through gritted teeth. The man smiled slyly. 

"She'll let anyone touch her.....slut..." he said, staring malevolently at Tifa. Cloud took a step towards him. 

"What did you call her...." he said menacingly. A white rage was beginning to build in his mind. How dare anyone say that about his friend.... 

The other man just laughed bitterly. 

"Yeah, she's a real proffessional....quite pricey though...if you don't mind me saying," he said, a twisted grin on his face. Cloud moved to throw him out, but some nagging doubt stopped him. Tifa's attitude...her smile at him.. 

He turned to her. Her face was set...in a hard look he had seen before. It was that, more than anything, which convinced him. He had seen that look...on the faces of the girls at the Honeybee Inn. At Don Corneo's Mansion. In the slums of Midgar, the look was a common one. 

"Tifa...." he whispered. She looked at him, her eyes shining with something he didn't understand. He felt naive, as if this was something he should have known. Should have expected. He shook his head, his breath catching in his throat as he tried to make sense of it. The answer was in front of him, but he didn't want to accept it. 

He turned to the man, who was now sprawled against the door frame. 

"Did you pay her...to..." he started. Tifa didn't make a sound, but she watched silently. 

Cloud asked the man again, his voice sounding harsh. 

"Did you pay Tifa for sex? Is she..." he was unable to say it. The man finished for him. 

" A whore? Yeah, I paid her. I put a little of my paycheck aside each month especially for Tifa...." he said, with a drunken slur. Cloud felt the rage about to explode. He whirled around, staring at Tifa. She looked back at him, her eyes cold. In his anger, he didn't see the underlying hurt there. 

Cloud turned and left the Seventh Heaven, storming out into the cool night air, which did nothing to stem his anger. 

When Cloud had got back to the bar, it had been several hours later. Barret was watching Tifa as she silently mopped the floor, which was covered in the usual unpleasant debris the drunks managed to leave behind. Yuffie was helping her, but not spekaing a word, unusual for the talkative young girl. 

Cloud had entered, and if possible, the silence grew thicker. Tifa had stopped what she was doing to look at him. Barret, sitting on the same stool Cloud had been sitting on earlier, watching Cloud, waiting for a reaction. He expected Cloud to either hit Tifa, or forgive her. The first option was the most likely, although Barret knew Cloud well enough to know he had never hit a woman outside a deliberate battle situation, when he was fighting for his life. Instead, the blonde had just looked at her. 

Cloud saw a different side of Tifa. He guessed it had been there all along, but he had been too naive to notice it. No, not naive, Midgar had taught him enough. Even on the walk he had just taken, which took him no where near Wall Market, he had been offered company by at least six different girls. One of them had made him stop, to look at her. 

She had grabbed his arm, looking up at him with wide black eyes. While she spoke to him softly, suggesting things he didn't want to hear, pleading with him to consider something he had always found disgusting, he had seen a resemblance in her to two women he knew. The first was Yuffie, for some unknown reason. It had been enough for him to ask how old she was. That had stopped the flow of tainted words from her mouth, and she had answered truthfully, automatically. She was fourteen. He wasn't as shocked as he would have been before coming to Midgar, it just made him feel even more depressed. 

The second, was of course Tifa. The way the prostitute stood, the hard manner in which she spoke, gestures, the way she shook her hair and smiled falsely, offering him her body, it was how Tifa had acted in the bar earlier. 

Out of pity, Cloud had given her 500 gil, and continued on his way. It saddened him to see almost immediatly she had run over to a dealer standing not far off, and given him the larger part of her money. 

Tifa didn't do drugs. Or did she? He had no way of knowing...this recent shock had 

turned the pituresque world he had painted for himself upside down. He had even begun to entertain notions that Tifa was someone he could love as more than a friend. But how could he love someone who had lied to him, hidden something so repulsive from him. And Barret, he hadn't been shocked at the revelation. Of course, he wouldn't be. He shared a house with Tifa, he would know all about her sordid little secret. 

And so Cloud had ended back up at the Seventh Heaven. He took a deep breath, and asked the question which had been plaguing him. 

"Why?" he asked coldly. Tifa swallowed, and gazed back at him. She couldn't explain, it was just...something which had always been part of her life. Not a part she was very proud, of, but a substantial part nonetheless. 

"I..come on Cloud...you can't expect..." she began, not really knowing what she was trying to say. He exhaled in disgust. 

"Expect what? Come on Tifa....enlighten me....what the hell's been going on? Are you just a cheap slut? A freelance whore? And to think I saved you from Don Corneo....you were probably just going to work.." he said with uncharactersistic venom. The cold look left her eyes and she glanced down. He felt almost sorry for her. She stood there, her arms by her side, her head hung, looking pathetic. Yuffie stood next to her. Barret...he just watched. Cloud felt angry again. 

"Tifa...how could you do this? How long has this been going on?" he asked her, his voice rasping. She shrugged, and answered quietly. 

"Years...ever since I opened this place..." she said automatically. He felt pain. It was as if she was a different person. Cloud had never thought Tifa was a virgin. No, that wasn't true...he refused to believe that she wasn't. It was irrational...stupid...but he wanted to think she had saved herself for him. Now....the thought was coming back to haunt him. 

"You've....why? You don't need to, you have enough money..." he said, making an effort to understand. She looked up at him. 

"Cloud, how much money do you think I make a night? Selling cheap beer, cheap liquor, cheap food...I don't make more than 200 gil a night. I didn't have enough money. I just found a way I could make more.." she admitted. He shook his head in disgust. She continued, the hard edge coming back into her voice. 

"I found that I could make twice that in hours. In one night...I could make more than a week in the Seventh Heaven." she said. It was almost as if she was bragging. Cloud felt sick. 

"Then why didn't you just sell this place? Become a full time prostitute?" he asked bitterly. She shied away from him, recoiling from his harsh tone. 

"It's my home," she said simply. He turned to leave, exhausted, but she called after him. 

"Don't tell me you've never been tempted Cloud. When you walk through Midgar...you see them. Don't tell me you've never spent 300 gil on a quick...." He spun round to face her, his eyes blazing. Before he could speak, she continued. 

"It's no big deal." she said. Those were the fatal words. 

His mako blue eyes narrowed. He looked vicious. 

"Don't bring me down to your level. I would never, ever consider of defiling a woman like that. You, you chose to do it to yourself. You're one sick bitch, Tifa. I never want to see you again," he spat, his words showing barely restrained anger and disgust, and he left the Seventh Heaven for the second time that night. 

*************************************************************************** 

Yuffie looked at her friend in astonishment. Tifa...she had been someone Yuffie had looked up to.This changed so much. Glancing over to Barret, she saw that there was no change in the expression on his face. 

"You...knew?" she asked Barret. He just looked at her. Yuffie sighed, and looked back to Tifa. The young woman was staring at the door. Suddenly she moved towards it, as if she was going out. Barret stopped her. 

"He needs more time," he said. His eyes were cold, he knew that damage had been done which might be irrepairable. Tifa turned back to Yuffie, who was still standing there. She met the younger girl's gaze, stared into her jet black eyes. The eyes which, now, were filled with confusion, and hurt. Yuffie pushed past Tifa, and ran after Cloud. Barret made no move to stop her. 

Tifa began to cry. She knew she had brought it on herself. It was her fault, and she had hurt the person closer to her. Cloud....she had wanted to give him everything, but she had deprived herself of the chance now. Barret had always turned a blind eye to Tifa's private life. He knew very well what went on, and when they were alone urged her to give it up for Cloud's sake. He said to her, what if she got ill/pregnant/assaulted or worse? How could she explain it to Cloud? 

He blamed himself in a way. He didn't pay Tifa rent for sharing her house, and working in a resistance group didn't pay. He was living off her charity. Who was he to tell her not to do something when she was the one paying for him and Marlene? 

"Tifa," he said quietly. The sobbing woman looked up at him. 

"Tif, don't do this to yourself. Wait for him to come back. Then you can explain properly. Apologise to him. Tell him you're sorry." he said to her. She nodded, but knew words would not interest Cloud anymore. He had meant what he said. He would never want to see her again. 

She looked up as it began to rain heavily. 

*************************************************************************** 

"Cloud!" she yelled, running after him. The older man was faster than him, and was striding ahead so angrily it was a struggle for Yuffie to keep up. And, the driving rain was making even seeing the blonde difficult. Yuffie slipped in the mud, cursing as she saw the filth stuck to her bare legs, but continued running, trying to catch up with him. Her brown and blonde hair stuck to her scalp, dripping with water. Her clothes were soaked, and she was freezing cold, but she kept on running. "Wait!" she screamed, as she caught a glimpse of him around a corner. 

Cloud turned, shaken out of his thoughts by the screamed word. He thought it was either a drug addict, or some teenage rebel in over their head. He was not far wrong, as he saw Yuffie silently surrounded by a group of extremely menacing young men. He ran towards her. 

"Leave her alone." he said in an even voice. One of the young men turned around. He gave Cloud a look of contempt. 

"She your woman?" he asked in a growling voice. Cloud unsheathed his sword. The man didn't flinch. Cloud was a little surprised at the lack of emotion. Maybe this guy was crazy. Or very, very confident. Not many people were prepared to stand up to the Ultima weapon without a little fear. Cloud took a step forward. 

"She is my friend. I am responsible for her safety. If she gets one scratch on her...." he said, his own voice harsh. The other man stepped back. He grabbed Yuffie by the arm, and shoved her towards Cloud. Cloud resisted the urge to catch her as she stumbled, he knew it was a trick to catch him off guard, to make him put his weapon down. He was suddenly presented with three swords, like his own, all levelled at his neck. 

Yuffie scrambled to her feet, Conformer gripped tightly in her rain and blood slicked hands. She knew Cloud was in trouble, but had no doubt he could fend off this attack with not two much trouble. She ganced down at her shuriken, checking the glowing green Restore materia was still in it's slot. He may need some support magic. 

Luckily, the three others quailed at the thought of fighting an opponant who owned the ultimate weapon. The were experienced, unlike their leader, and knew what they would be facing. They backed down, and faded away. The leader was the last to go, shooting Cloud an icy look as he left. 

Cloud turned to Yuffie. "Are you alright?" he asked her. She nodded, and looked guilty. "I'm sorry," she said. He shrugged. 

"It's ok. What're you doing out here? It's almost three in the morning." he said wearily. She gazed at him. The heavy rain made it difficult to see, but she could still see the hurt in his ice blue eyes. 

"Tifa." she said quietly. He nodded, and the pair walked, ignoring the downpour around them. It seemed to match their mood. They walked, until they reached a familiar place. Wall Market. 

Yuffie sighed, and put her hand on Cloud's arm. They headed towards the inn. The reputable inn. Once inside, it was warm and dry. Cloud got them two rooms, and they went into his to talk while drying off. Neither wanted to go back to the Seventh Heaven that night. Cloud didn't ever want to go back there. 

"She...she's really upset," said Yuffie tentatively. Cloud slammed down his wet sweater on the radiator angrily, making Yuffie jump. She was already dressed in a soft white dressing gown provided by the inn, her wet clothes next to Clouds on the radiator. He put his head in his hands, pushing back his soaking blonde hair. 

"I have no sympathy for her." he said coldly. Yuffie coughed, and shivered. Cloud gave her a look of concern. She got off the bed and stood closer to the radiator, pressing her cold hands against it. 

"I was shocked." Yuffie said quietly. That much was obvious. Cloud was fairly surprised the young girl hadn't made one single crude comment about this yet. She was obviously shaken. 

"Yeah. So was I." he told her. She looked at him. He looked so sad. He was still wearing the soaking jeans from earlier, and a wet t-shirt which he was in the process of taking off. His spiky blonde hair was damp. His eyes...they had a faraway look in them which depressed Yuffie. She wanted to ask him something, but wasn't sure how to put it. 

"Cloud...." she started. He looked up at her. She cleared her throat and continued. 

"Were you and Tifa..." 

"No." he said quickly. Then he sighed. "I mean yes. Once." she looked away, unable to meet his gaze as he continued. 

"Let this be a lesson to you Yuffie. Never trust anyone." he said bitterly. She gazed up at him from where she sat on the radiator. 

"But..she did love you," Yuffie said hesitantly. Cloud laughed bitterly. 

"Love? What would a slut like her know about love? Love to Tifa is a 'thank-you' as they pass her the 400 gil." he said harshly. Yuffie frowned. 

"You loved her." she said simply. It sounded like an accusation. He shook his head. 

"Maybe. But I was stupid. She's nothing better than a..." 

"Cloud, please..." said Yuffie, hating this situation. Cloud looked at her, and felt guilty. 

"Sorry, Yuffie. But I'm angry. She lied to me! She...could have at least told me before we..." 

"I know. She was waaay out of order." Yuffie said, not wishing to go into details.Cloud sat down on the bed, his eyes downcast. 

"I trusted her..." he said quietly. Yuffie wanted to comfort him, but didn't want to spoil this. Cloud never showed his emotions. 

"I trusted her. And she...she made me look like a fool. It hurts, Yuffie. I thought I was special to her...but I guess I wasn't. I was just one of many to share her bed. Nothing special, except I didn't pay her," he said, a hint of anger creeping into his voice. Yuffie took this as a sign to show compassion. She leapt down off the radiator, and sat next to him on the bed. 

"Cloud, it's ok. I mean, I never even guessed...and you know what a filthy mind I have" she said, her arm around his shoulders. He managed to smile at her. But the expression quickly faded as he remembered his last words to her. 

"Did you hear what she accused me of ?" he asked Yuffie. Yuffie bit her lip and nodded. 

"That really hurt, huh?" she said. Cloud nodded. 

"She assumed I had done the same as her. How could she? How could she assume I am as low as her? But...maybe she's right. Like I said, I was nothing special to her. Am I on the same level as that drunk?" he asked. Yuffie rightly assumed he wasn't talking directly to her, and kept her mouth shut, rubbing his back in compassion. 

*************************************************************************** 

The next morning, Tifa awoke to someone banging on the door of the Seventh Heaven. Grabbing her dressing gown, she ran down the thin wooden stairs and opened the door. Yuffie was standing there. She looked as if she had been crying. This shocked Tifa as Yuffie never, ever cried. Not when she was yelled at, not when she was grieving, not even when her bones were broken. Tifa couldn't think of a reason why she would have been crying. 

Yuffie entered the bar, pushing past Tifa. She stood in the middle of the bar, where the confrontation had gone on earlier. "Cloud's gone." she stated simply, a cold edge to her voice. Tifa frowned, staring at Yuffie in disbelief. 

"He wouldn't...." 

"He has." she countered, her voice harsh. Tifa drew in a sharp breath. She hadn't expected Cloud to really carry out his threat. Yuffie turned her face away from Tifa, unable to look at the woman who had driven Cloud away. 

"You can't mean...he's coming back, right?" asked Tifa desperatly. Yuffie made a noise of disgust. 

"No. He's gone. He got on his motorbike and left. Took his sword, his materia, his clothes and left. Oh, and he gave me this." she said coldly, holding out a shining object to Tifa. It was a watch, one she had given to him. Tifa took the silver watch in her hand, staring at it as she realised what she had done. Yuffie turned to leave. 

"I'm going too. Back to Wutai." she said. Tifa grabbed her arm. Yuffie saw she had tears in her eyes. 

"Wait....do you know where he is? I need to talk to him," she said, tears falling from her eyes. Yuffie stared back at her, feeling no pity. 

"I don't know. He doesn't want to know you anymore. He doesn't want to know any of us. Because we remind him of you. And you...you've hurt him. And he doesn't want to ever see you again." said Yuffie, her voice frosty. Tifa burst into fresh tears, and Yuffie wrenched her arm away, and headed out the door. 

*************************************************************************** 

Stepping out into the air, Yuffie looked upwards. Seeing the blue sky over Midgar was something no-one ever thought would happen, but since the plate had gone, the city had a day and a night. That morning, it felt like a new beginning to Yuffie. She knew where Cloud was, but she wasn't going to tell Tifa. Cloud deserved some time. Maybe, maybe he would forgive Tifa. But Yuffie didn't think so. Cosmo Canyon was a great place for quiet reflection, which was what Cloud needed now. She was going there, to see her friend Red, and Aeris, who had refused to go back to Midgar with the rest of them. She didn't want to see Tifa, or Barret, or Midgar ever again. She hated the slums, and the people in them. In her opinion, Cloud was well out of it. 

She picked up her rucksack from the porch of the Seventh Heaven, and jumped lightly down the steps, walking quickly down the winding paths which would take her to the winding motorcycle. She smiled at Cloud as she saw him waiting, and jumped on behind him. 

"Ready?" he asked her. She smiled. 

"Yeah. Let's leave this dump!" she yelled. Cloud laughed, and revved the engine. Yuffie slipped her hand round his waist, clinging on as they sped through the city. 

As they left, Cloud felt the oppression of the city leave him. The darkness which still hung over Midgar left with the fading of the city, and clean air replaced it. Clean, that was the word he liked most at the moment. All the dark shame and distortion of the last night left as they finally freed themselves of the city and were on the open highway. 

----------the endeth-------- 

What did you think? I love feedback, so please e-mail me!!! Selphie_Leonhart@day- dream.co.uk 

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